Not really a happy thing to talk about.

I battled what I thought was insomnia a lot when I was a teenager and in my early 20's. I wouldn't sleep simply because I had too much other stuff to do. Too many committments that I couldn't fulfill. I worked and went to school full time, played soccer, had a steady relationship, and tried to spend as much time with friends and family that I could. It caught up to me about twice a week and I'd crash. I made that choice then.
What I'm going through lately is different.Well, I haven't been sleeping lately. I don't know why, just haven't. I've mostly been sitting up at night thinking about my mom and how much I miss her. We had a lot of fun together, and I can't tell you what I'd give to get to talk to her again. See, when you're young you want to spend as much time with your folks as possible. As you get older, and into the teen years, that wish diminishes a lot. Until, finally, you have your own family with kids who wanna spend time with you. In the last couple of years of Mom's life I worked a lot, spent time with my family and attended funerals for loved ones. I should have known that I wasn't spending the time with my Mom that I should. I'd regret my inaction, and right now...I do. My father has been extremely strong over the last 8 months, and most days I'm strong too.
It's at night when I'm having the most trouble. My kids have an 830 bedtime and Kim is working full-time going in crazy early. That also means she's bedding down early as well. Which leaves me alone, with my thoughts. If I try to lay down, I think about mom. I miss her. I miss making her laugh or looking at her smile. My mom was my friend, and I need my friend right now. I love you mom.